Are you reading this because you’re aware of some bad habits you know you can do without?
You recognise them as bad habits of unhappy people, but for whatever reason, you’re holding onto them?
Imagine you get to make a choice today between your favourite dress and a worn out scruffy t-shirt and jeans.
You can spend the day exploring your dream city to your heart’s content.
Which one would you choose?
The answer seems obvious, doesn’t it?
Whether we’re aware of it or not, our day begins just the same.
It begins with a choice.
And unhappy people grab worn-out clothes that make them feel lousy, even though a pretty dress is within the reach.
Maybe you’re so accustomed to bad habits you no longer realise you’re choosing them every single day.
Read on and see if you recognise any of the destructive bad habits of unhappy people below.
If you do, it’s high time to stop making bad choices that cause misery and choose happiness instead.
#1 of 6 Destructive Habits – I’ll be Happy When…
I wish every person on earth could be rich once so that they can understand it won’t make them happy.
– Jim Carry
Many people define happiness with conditions:
I’ll be happy when I have a promotion.
I will be happy when I get a raise.
I’ll be thrilled when I have a new job.
I used to think the same: “only if I had more money, I’ll be happy. Maybe I’ll smile more then.”
The truth is, if you aren’t happy now, you will not be happy even when you have what you wish for.
That’s not true!
You may protest.
Here’s an example.
When you get your pay raise, you’ll be happy for all of 30 minutes and start wishing it’s a bit more.
It’s not just you.
John D. Rockefeller, who was a billionaire in the early 1900s, was once asked: “how much money was enough?”
Just a little bit more.
If you don’t learn to content today and appreciate what you already have, no amount of money will ever be enough.
Because you’ll be craving for the next best thing.
Choose your favourite dress: appreciate what you already have.
Many people would like an opportunity to earn the money you do or have the skills you have to earn it.
#2 of 6 Destructive Habits – I’m Too This or Too That
Have you heard yourself saying:
I’m too young (or too old) to start this.
I’m too inexperienced to apply for this job.
I’m too shy to go out and meet people.
Since the evolution of the internet, all kinds of the people are coming out of their shell, start a new business at an early age (or an old age), change career completely, travel solo exploring other parts of the world and so on.
Yet, you talk yourself out of the opportunities glaring at you because you think you’re too x, y and z.
Choose your favourite dress: say, instead, “I am a fast learner” and gather information and commit to master a new skill.
Look for successful people who have a similar background as you and have achieved what you want to achieve and live the life you want to live.
Find out everything there is to know about them and learn from them.
Surround yourself with the right materials and the right people.
#3 of 6 Destructive Habits – I’ll be Embarrassed by My Friends and Family’s Judgement and Criticism
When you were little, you were either rewarded for your good behaviours or punished for bad ones.
You learned quickly how to please others and how to seek approval and validations from others.
You do everything to make loved ones happy and avoid judgement or criticism.
As time goes, you discover that your own happiness isn’t always consistent with what others’ expectations of you.
You realise that you have to be responsible for your own happiness.
But knowing is one thing.
Taking your own path against others’ wishes is entirely different and challenging.
So you come up with excuses all the time, justifying your inaction and unhappiness.
Choose your favourite dress: believe in yourself and, as corny as it may sound, if you truly want to be happy, you’ve got to listen to your heart and follow it.
#4 of 6 Destructive Habits – I’ll Never Have X and Y as Bigger as Sarah
You were happy with your recent raise until you saw the latest Facebook feed from your friend, Sarah.
As you saw Sarah’s new car, you promptly get depressed because you still can’t afford to buy the same car Sarah drives.
You constantly compare yourself to your friends, neighbours, or some strangers on social media and invoke negative feelings within you.
The truth is, there’s always someone out there who is richer than you, has a more privileged background than you, is smarter than you and so on.
Choose your favourite dress: compare your present to your past.
How far you’ve come and achieved.
Seek true happiness from each milestone you achieve during your self-improvement journey.
#5 of 6 Destructive Habits – My Glass is Always Half-Empty
You see and approach everything with negative thoughts.
Before you turn up for an interview, you convince yourself you won’t get the job. Your performance during the interview reflects your negative thinking.
You respond with low confidence.
You don’t get the job.
And you say:
See, I knew it!
Except your self-limiting beliefs had cemented the result long before you stepped into the interview room.
Choose your favourite dress: see your glass half-full.
When you see the world around you in a positive light, you expect positive things. You act positively, therefore, attract positive things to your life.
#6 of 6 Destructive Habits – I Can Never Get Over My Past
If you believe you’ll never get over your past, it will be hard to move on from the past.
Logically, ask yourself what good comes out by holding onto the past.
Be honest with yourself.
If you’re filled with grief, heartache, guilt and regrets, reminiscing the past will only increase those negative feelings.
Know that you really can leave the past where it belongs: the Past.
Choose your favourite dress: Live in the now.
Every time you catch yourself drifting to the past, bring your focus to the present and be deliberate to stay in the present.
Grab your favourite dress every time. You’ll soon forget your old scruffy clothes.
We make choices every second, minute and hour of our life.
It’s empowering to think we can exercise our choices. Including how to react to adversity in life.
Which means, despite life’s challenges, we can always choose happiness and avoid these destructive habits of unhappy people.
Your favourite dress is always there for you to choose from.
The question is, are you aware of scruffy clothes you’re choosing?
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