When I heard about the top five regrets of dying people, the number five on the list made me sadder than the others.
Its poignant effect lingers in my mind for days.
I knew I’d write about it again.
The number five of the top five regrets of dying people is:
I wish I had let myself be happier.
My immediate impression on this regret is that the dying knew exactly what they could’ve done to make them happier, but they stood in their own happiness.
That’s the sad truth for a lot of us.
So I came up with 35 questions to give us an idea whether we’re sabotaging our own happiness.
Why wait till the final moment to realise and only to depart this world with anguish, right?
We can get out of our own way, fix things, and create happiness today.
So, in far away from now, when the time finally comes, we can put a gentle smile on our face for the life well lived.
You’ll find 2 parts of questions below.
They’re all short and straightforward.
Finish the first 18 questions in part 1.
Pause and really think about your answers before moving on to the part 2 for the remaining 17 questions.
35 Questions to Determine If You’re Sabotaging Your Own Happiness
Part 1: 18 Questions
1. Are you doing too much?: are you swamped with responsibilities; feeling exhausted and tired?
2. Do you find it hard to ask for help when you take on too much?
3. Are you doing too little?: do you feel bored with your life; do you wish the time would go faster?
4. Do you spend time with people who cause you unhappiness?
5. Do you always say “yes”?
6. Do you always say “no”?
7. Do you waste times on things that make you unhappy?
8. Do you sleep too much?
9. Do you sleep too little?
10. Do you worry a lot about what other people think?
11. Do you constantly put others before you?
12. Do you live beyond your means? Spend more than you earn?
13. Do you sweat the small stuff?
14. Does fear stop you from doing something you really want?
15. Do you spend lots of time reminiscing and regretting the past?
16. Do you compare yourself to others?
17. Are you a pessimist?
18. Do you complain a lot?
You’re halfway through.
How many questions did you answer with “yes”?
Go back to those questions again. Think about what you could do differently.
Back in the old days before my personal development journey, I’d have answered “yes” to a few questions above.
But now I finally fixed them all. I feel reborn, feeling a lot happier and in control of my life.
I can’t imagine what my life would be like now had I not made changes.
How about you?
If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, make a note and make an action plan to fix it.
Exercise your right: a choice to live a happy life.
Now let’s carry on with the 2nd part questions.
Part 2: 17 Questions
19. Do you speak to yourself lovingly as you speak to your loved ones?
20. Do you laugh often every day?
21. Do you believe in yourself
22. Do you surround yourself with those who believe in you?
23. Do you spend time outdoors and in nature?
24. Do you make time for your hobbies?
25. Do you educate yourself?: read books, take up a course or keep your knowledge up to date in your field?
26. Do you feel inspired by people, life events, or plain daily stuff?
27. Do you strive to inspire other people through encouragement, kindness, enthusiasm, positivity and collaboration?
28. Do you love your job or its prospects?
29. Are you happy in your relationship?
30. Do you speak up when you need to?
31. Do you take action on your goals?
32. Do you enjoy alone time?
33. Do you love yourself wholeheartedly?: despite imperfection, you know no one can do you better than you?
34. Do you nourish your body with healthy food, make you healthy and strong?
35. Do you exercise?
How did the 2nd part go?
I’d have answered with a resounding “no” to the number 19.
Thankfully, it’s one of the first things I fixed after a huge realisation, thanks to this book.
See what questions you’ve answered with “no” on the 2nd part of the questions.
Give yourself a serious thought about what you can do differently.
The self-assessment questions above will help you realise that it’s always you who stands between you and happiness, not other people or circumstances.
You may not be able to change some circumstances.
You definitely can’t change other people.
But you do have control over you and how you react to your circumstances.
The sooner you make changes, the happier you become.
And I guarantee our parting words on our deathbed won’t be:
I wish I had let myself happier.
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