Have you ever stopped tolerating certain things or people in your life, saying:
Enough is enough!
Or are you putting up with them?
Being tolerant is considered a virtue when we interact with people whose opinions and beliefs differ from ours.
By being tolerant, you’re being respectful.
It’s a commendable trait for a decent human being in a decent society.
But in the field of personal development, not so much.
In fact, being tolerant of certain things can be detrimental to your fulfilling life.
By definition, being tolerant means you’re letting things you dislike or disagree with exist in your life without interference.
I have tolerated quite a few things that led me to either precisely nowhere or a worse place.
After I stopped tolerating them, the quality of my life has dramatically improved.
Here are 5 things I stopped tolerating to live a more fulfilling and happier life.
5 Things I Stopped Tolerating to Live a More Fulfilling and Happier Life
1. I Stopped Tolerating My Aimless Life
It’s the biggest one on the list because it led me to stop tolerating all the other crippling aspects of my life.
If you think about it, it makes sense, right?
When you don’t have a direction in your life, why would you want to try at all?
You have no goals to pursue.
You brush off the things you tolerate as a minor inconvenience and carry on.
- A bit of weight
- A small debt
- Chronic complaining about eh, everything
- An unfulfilling job
It’s easier to put up with it because drifting aimlessly doesn’t demand your effort.
Compare that with having a goal and taking action. It means taking a risk and confronting a pain of change.
Yep, putting up with an aimless life was definitely easier.
But when I envisioned the same life in 5 or 10 years’ time, it gave me a shudder.
I just couldn’t imagine facing myself down the road without feeling sad and angry.
I finally embraced the pain of change and came out of the comfort zone because I wanted a better life for me.
2. I Stopped Tolerating People
You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
– Jim Rohn
Take stock of people around you.
Are you tolerating people who bring you down constantly?
Be mindful of people you surround yourself with.
Every word they say can become toxic to your mind.
You normalise their warped beliefs when you listen enough times. Worse, their beliefs become yours.
I remember reading about a lady who was so determined to lose weight and started training.
But shortly afterwards, she stopped the training with her personal trainer because everyone around her said weighing below 250 pounds wasn’t just healthy.
All her friends and family are large.
Thankfully, she didn’t stop there. She studied more about weight and health and eventually lost all her excessive weight.
It goes to show how much influence people around you can have on you.
3. I Stopped Tolerating Debt
When you get in debt you become a slave.
– Andrew Jackson
Most of us grew up in an environment where debt is normalised.
Only if I had known these debt quotes at an early age and taken them to heart…
I’m sure you’ve heard:
Everyone has a debt.
That’s how much debt is prevailing in our society and has been normalised.
The moment you normalise debt in your life, you lose control of your finances.
I read someone made a comment about her grandpa’s money advice:
Be your own bank.
I thought that’s an amazing concept that I wish someone had told me when I was young.
Imagine the life you no longer rely on a commercial bank that creates all kinds of products and services and shoves them down your throats (almost!), making you believe you can’t survive in this day and age without loan, debt and credit cards.
That is not true.
I know people with “be your own bank” mindset are living just fine without all those financial products.
Not just fine, but living really well.
4. I Stopped Tolerating a Job I Hated
Wrong degree and wrong job.
It was enough reason to leave, but I tolerated it because of security and comfort the job provided.
I’d have stayed longer had it not been such a toxic environment.
People gossiping all the time. Finger-pointing exercise meetings than constructive.
The demoralising culture that encourages people to find faults at everything and everyone and undermine others to get ahead.
I hated the environment more than the job itself.
When I finally left the job, I felt like walking out of prison (imagine that!).
5. I Stopped Tolerating Negative Self-Dialogue
If you haven’t thought about the dialogue you’re having with yourself, I urge you to give it a serious thought.
It’s probably the most valuable and life-changing gift you can give to yourself.
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard successful people talk about:
A story you tell yourself.
But I didn’t fully take it in until I read a book mentioned in this post.
Self-talk, affirmations, a story you tell yourself…. they’re all about having the right dialogue with yourself.
If you have no faith in you and keep reinforcing you with bad narratives day after day, you’re holding yourself back AND dragging you down and down.
There’s no one but you who can uplift your spirits and cheer you on when things don’t turn out the way you expect.
Only you can write the story you want to live, no matter what.
It’s so easy to tolerate the wrong things.
They sneak into our lives and become habits.
From the messy desk to chronic complaining, tolerating repeatedly can sap your energy and steal your time.
By selecting what to tolerate and what not to tolerate, you declutter mental space for your creativity and intuition, feel lighter, exude positive energy, promote your personal growth and live a more fulfilling and happier life.
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