Through my blog posts, I emphasised a few times that I’m not a life coach.
I felt the need to say it because I wanted you, my readers, to know I’m not qualified to advise certain things in a professional capacity nor do I know many things, not certainly more than you do.
This is quite the opposite of what some writers/bloggers advise wannabe bloggers to do to be successful.
The conventional wisdom of making a successful blog is you just need to know a little more than the average people and present yourself as such.
Some blogger blatantly says: pretend to know a little even when you don’t so you can establish authority.
Honestly, I don’t know how they do it.
I’m just terrible at those things.
What I quickly learned is that pretending to know more than you do is another skill-set, if you can call it that.
I can’t muster false pretence or enthusiasm and recommend products and services as if they were the best things since sliced bread for the sake of making money.
So, from there to say “everyone can be a life coach”, that seems quite a leap, right?
Here is the thing.
Unless you’re perfect in every way possible, we all suffer from our own limitation, ignorance and frustration.
The more you learn about how the world is being shaped and how things work, the more things you discover you’re ignorant of.
Even Socrates Said He Knew Nothing
One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing.
If the great Greek philosopher Socrates knew he knew nothing, what chance do we really have?
The truth is, we all have tunnel vision.
Not only that, what little things we think we know are full of bias.
We only see what we want to see, interpreting things as we want them to be.
This is exactly why different people recall a different version of life experiences from the same event.
Wrong, Unreliable or Distorted Memories
For a long time, I had carried an unshakable belief that my mum was especially hard on me.
She punished me more than my siblings. She hated me for no apparent reason.
Or so I thought.
To which, my baffled younger sister said: “what on earth are you talking about?”
She recalled no such thing.
Which has helped me finally let go of that unlovable little girl that I once thought was me.
If I hadn’t opened up and told her about unfairness and bewilderment I had felt from my childhood memories, who knows what more damage it would have caused.
We just don’t know everything to be sure of anything.
We’re full of prejudice and bias.
Oops… to a Psychologist
In one of the meetups where I went a while ago, a guy introduced himself as a psychologist.
I unintentionally offended him with:
Is it true a psychologist is the one who really needs help?
Hey, it is funny. No?
I don’t know where I heard it, but it was meant to be an icebreaker. I thought it’s funny!
I’m friendly by nature. My face with a subtle smile on says it’s a joke.
So, I gleefully expected a self-deprecating yet clever comeback I was sure of to come.
But it fell on a stoic and sullen face.
Anyhow, kudos to intelligent people who genuinely want to help and guide others to live and function as a productive member of society.
But Dare I Say We All can Become a Life Coach
Albeit imperfection, part of us knows something. Most times, that’s enough.
When you realise what you already know may not be right and you don’t know most things, you have humility.
You let go of your ego and seek wisdom within as much as from others.
Even if you don’t feel qualified to be a life coach to others, that doesn’t have to stop you from being one to yourself.
Because within you, there are many of you.
The person who knows right from wrong.
How to live well even if she can’t control herself despite her best effort and ends up wasting all day browsing social media.
How to look after her body, even though she grapples with the temptation of chocolate bars throughout the day.
That person within you has all the answers you need if you’re willing to ask honest questions and listen to honest answers.
A good life coach asks good questions and listens well, which means you already have the right skills to become a life coach.
You’re capable of playing the role of a life coach to yourself.
In fact, you’re in the best position.
You know your background.
What inspires you and how to motivate yourself.
You know your life goals, or at least how you’d like your life to be or not to be.
Consult with her as often as you can.
Every time you’re about to stray from having a productive day, ask her:
What’s the one thing I could do right now so I can feel content when I go to bed tonight?
What area of my life do I want to improve and what’s the first step can I take towards it?
You may not know everything. No one does.
But you know enough to ask the right questions to yourself.
You may think it’s hard to be your own life coach.
You’re right: it’s not easy. It takes practice, but it can be done.
When we ask honest questions to ourselves, we tend to justify and rationalise our behaviours.
That makes it hard to confront our vice to work through.
Surrender yourself completely to the different dimension of you, that is, your life coach within you.
Her only goal is to help you and guide you through your limitation to live a quality life.
When you’re honest with her, she’ll help you see the things you didn’t see before.
Whether it being a new career to pursue or different tactics to use for your business, answer to the questions your life coach asks without rationalisation, justification or excuses but with complete honesty.
So you can start seeing different things and set a different trajectory of your life to live the life you always wanted to live.
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