You’ve probably heard about psychotherapist Amy Morin’s “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”.
Her article written in 2013 went viral and has been read by over 50 million people.
When I learned it precisely.. um .. today (6 years later!), I asked myself:
Where have you been?!
It goes to show that my old lifestyle didn’t exactly support personal growth in any shape or form.
Ah well, as always, better late than never, right?
This is another reason I love every minute of my personal development journey.
I get to learn new things, reflect on my life choices through fresh eyes, make positive changes each day and continue to grow whilst being inspired and spreading wonderful messages to boot.
I thought I’d share her “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” with you in case you haven’t heard about her.
She also published a book with the same title.
It’s no coincidence that the title caught my attention.
I’ll add Amy Morin’s TED Talk below.
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin
Here are “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” by Amy Morin along with my thoughts I’ve learned from my observation.
1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves
Mentally strong people take full responsibility for the choices they make and the consequences.
They don’t blame circumstances or other people. Nor do they waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
Mentally strong people get up and keep going wherever they are with whatever they have.
2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power
Mentally strong people don’t let others control them.
Whether it’s a nasty boss or unpleasant customers, they don’t let them dictate their feelings.
They know they can’t change others, so they exercise the ultimate power by adapting how they react to a situation instead of being controlled by others or circumstances.
3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change
It forces us to step outside our comfort zone, overcome our fear, and face new challenges.
Every change is a little scary. But it also trains our mind to be adaptable and become stronger.
Mentally strong people challenge the status quo, embrace change, grow tough and strong and become resilient.
4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control
I’m not a religious person, but I love Serenity Prayer.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
– Serenity Prayer
Mentally strong people assess what’s within their control and whatnot.
They recognise focusing on things beyond their control is a waste of time.
5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
Worrying about pleasing everyone wastes time and energy. I’m a massive advocate of being selfish.
Mentally strong people don’t seek others’ approval, nor do they attempt to please everyone.
In forging their own path, they know they may cause discomfort or conflicts among some people.
They aren’t afraid of pursuing their own life’s purpose, regardless.
6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks
Fear determines whether we live or merely exist.
Most of us stay in a comfort zone, never realising our full potential because of fear.
Mentally strong people do the opposite. They go after what they want, despite fear.
They weigh up options carefully and take calculated risks.
7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past
Reflecting on the past and learning from them is essential to make better choices and grow as a person.
But mentally strong people don’t constantly relive the past and waste the present.
8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over
It reminds me of Einstein’ wise words:
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
– Albert Einstein
This is exactly what I did with my failed business.
Doing the same stuff over and over and expecting the troublesome business would magically turn itself around. It didn’t.
Mentally strong people learn their lessons from their mistakes and don’t make the same mistakes repeatedly.
9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success
One thing I know about myself is I never resent other people’s success.
They’re super inspiring: I’m eager to learn from them as much as I can.
I’m happy to find that I share this trait with mentally strong people.
Mentally strong people have confidence in them and their abilities.
They can genuinely admire and congratulate others’ success without feeling inferior.
They know they’re also capable of achieving success.
10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure
I’m thinking: did they become mentally strong because they kept going after the first failure or they carried on because they were mentally strong?
I’m inclined to think the former: their mental strength has grown because they didn’t veer off their goals after the first failure.
Many successful people have gone through a fair share of failures.
They learn from them, fail forward and come out the other side much stronger.
11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time
When you enjoy alone time, you don’t rely on others for your happiness.
You can also truly enjoy others’ company when you’re comfortable on your own.
Mentally strong people are comfortable being alone and enjoy their own company.
12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything
From a young age, I knew nobody would come and rescue me from my poverty-stricken life.
Someone once told me my parents should be very proud of me. I guess I achieved something out of nothing at one point.
But it’s all gone kaput. Ha.
It’s time to grind again.
Mentally strong people know no one owes them anything, and there is no such thing as a free lunch.
They make their own mark.
13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results
Good for them! I want results, NOW. Ha. Only kidding.
If we can reap everything straightaway, where is the fun in that, right?
Mentally strong people know we’ve got to put in work, and whatever worthwhile to achieve in life is usually a long game.
There’s really no shortcut.
This is a wonderful list to go through.
If you feel you aren’t mentally strong, remember these people were not born that way. We all can learn to be as strong as they are, if not more!
Start small with one decision.
You always give in to eating junk food because you’re too tired to cook after work? Start with that one tonight.
Say “no” to junk food and cook something healthy and nice. Add another decision the next day.
You’re building a getting mentally strong muscle every day.
I’ll end it with what Jocko Willink, the former Navy SEAL Commander, said on mental toughness.
If you want to be tougher mentally, it is simple: be tougher. Don’t meditate on it.
– Jocko Willink
Amy Morin’s TED Talk
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