7 Surefire Ways You Can Get Quiet Confidence

You can learn and develop confidence. Because being confident is all about having the best relationship with yourself. It has no bearing on our innate personality traits.

One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in and where you want to go.

– Sheila Murray Bethel

Do you want to become quietly confident? And want to know how you can get quiet confidence?

Or find out what it means to have quiet confidence to become that person?

I have all the answers here for you.

But first things first.

It might surprise you that your innate personal trait has very little to do with being confident.

Which means we all can learn to become confident

I should know this because I suffered from an inferiority complex from an early age.

So self-confidence was a personal challenge of mine to overcome for a long time.

Thanks to diving into my personal development journey, I finally became self-assured.

And I want to share what I’ve learned in this post so you too can become the confident person you’ve always wanted.

In this post I’ll explore:

  • What it means to have quiet confidence.
  • Why quiet confidence is attractive and good.
  • Whether being quiet is a sign of confidence.
  • How to get quiet confidence

Let’s dive in.

What does It Mean to Have Quiet Confidence?

Confidence means you have an inner belief in your abilities, skills, and values.

So having quiet confidence means you carry with you such belief in an undertone.

Let’s put it this way.

When you have a quiet confidence, you embody two distinctive characteristics:

  • You’re humble.
  • You’re self-assured.

You don’t need to be the centre of attention to feel confident about yourself.

Why should you when there’s no need to prove anything to anyone but to live your life?

Is Quiet Confidence Attractive?

Quiet confidence is super attractive.

Because people with quiet confidence exude convictions and self-belief with calmness.

They aren’t forceful, loud or boastful when:

  • Interacting with others.
  • Expressing opinions.
  • Exchanging ideas.
  • Achieving life goals.

People with the loudest voice in the room may look confident.

Little do we know, though, some people are masking nervousness or insecurities that way.

They may also have a deep desire for attention-seeking.

Unlike them, people with quiet confidence have a gentle effect on people around them.

So quiet confidence is good and attractive.

Is Being Quiet a Sign of Confidence?

How we express ourselves depends on an individual’s personality.

An introvert is likely to display confidence quietly while an extrovert exudes confidence outwardly.

It’s how we’re wired in interacting with the world.

This means not all confident people are quiet.

And not all quiet people are lacking in confidence.

So being quiet isn’t necessarily a sign of confidence. Just as being a loud person doesn’t mean s/he is confident.

How to Get Quiet Confidence

Now we know confidence isn’t what you’re born with. It’s a skill you learn.

And here are 7 ways to develop quiet confidence.

1. Accept Yourself – Good and Bad

To become truly confident, you need to accept yourself fully.

Know your strengths. And recognise your weaknesses without being harsh and judgemental.

Remember, no one can do you better than you do, even with obvious flaws (who doesn’t have them anyway?).

When you play to your strength and engage in activities in your domain, your confidence skyrockets.

Strengthening your strengths supercharges you with quiet confidence.

You can use your weaknesses to your advantage too. By working on it, you experience personal growth and thus become more confident.

Self-acceptance allows you to feel comfortable in your own skin. Enables you to exude quiet confidence.

2. Create Your Roadmap for Life

Confident people have their roadmap for life, carving out the life path of their own. They don’t give a hoot about what others think.

Confident people are also self-aware: they know what they want and pursue it.

Therefore, they believe life happens for them, not to them.

A roadmap for life ensures you’re on the right path. It prevents you from following the crowd and falling into a trap like FOMO.

When you trust your abilities and values, you become creative and resourceful.

Which enables you to stay on your path, no matter what.

Your carefully crafted roadmap fills you with a quiet confidence.

Because you know where you’re heading, regardless of what others think or say.

3. Keep Every Promise You Make to Yourself

When was the last you made a promise to yourself and didn’t keep it?

I once made a promise to wake up at 5 am. But ended up hitting the snooze button and woke up 3 hours later.

My day started with guilt and sabotaging thoughts:

See how weak you are? You can’t even keep one promise you made to yourself!

The important battle always begins within us.

When you keep every promise you make to yourself, you build trust in yourself and your abilities.

Like in any relationship, with trust comes confidence.

Your self-esteem goes up when you keep a promise you make to yourself.

Other people’s approvals or praises are like a sandcastle. Genuine self-confidence can only come within.

Here’s another example.

You dress up for work in a new outfit.

Colleagues pay you a compliment. It’s pleasing to your ears, boosting your mood instantly, but that high lasts only for so long.

Because you broke the promise you made to yourself. You gave in to temptation and failed to stick to your budget.

Drowning in debt, you know you made your finance worse. Now you feel guilty, killing your confidence with one blow.

What you feel inside makes or breaks your confidence.

It’s not other people’s comments or opinions of you.

You can only grow confidence by building self-trust. So keeping every promise you make to yourself is the only way.

4. Do Lots of Small Stuff that Count EVERY DAY

Every day, we can do something that contributes to our roadmap for life.

Doing lots of small stuff that counts gives us meaningful results towards our goals.

No matter how small it may be, do it a lot day in, day out.

  • Spend 30 minutes to learn a new skill, i.e. coding or web designing.
  • Write 500 words for your first book before heading off to work.
  • Do 100 squats while brushing your teeth as your daily health regime.

Every small stuff builds a foundation.

It adds up over time and compounds, getting you closer to the destination on your roadmap for life.

You have nothing to prove to others and everything to prove to yourself.

Doing small and important stuff daily makes you an action-oriented person.

Being a doer, not a mere talker or dreamer, is a fast track to genuine confidence.

With everyday progress that stacks up, you experience a positive loop of confidence. And build quiet confidence.

5. Be Your Own Cheerleader

No one will ever want success for you as much as you do for yourself.

(Except for your parents.)

Celebrate every little win when you achieve milestone:

  • You’ve earned your first $100 income from side-hustle.
  • You’ve finished reading your first book on finance.
  • You’ve completed your first 30-day challenge.

A nicely crafted roadmap for life will give you endless ideas to do every day.

And you’ll have tons of milestones to reach over the course of your life journey.

Every time you hit a milestone, stand in front of a mirror, say with a broad smile:

Good job – I’m very proud of you!

Sometimes, things don’t go as planned, but no matter what, don’t belittle yourself.

Remember, you’re the only person who can love you more than anyone.

And you can always make a u-turn to the right path when you veer off course.

Treat yourself like you’d treat your BFF. Listen, be compassionate and encouraging.

You owe it to yourself to be your own cheerleader and maintain the quiet confidence you’ve built.

6. Treasure Your Body

Often, we don’t realise how good we had it until sudden illness hit us like a ton of bricks.

Forcing us to grapple with physical and mental hardship and lose mobility and independence.

Don’t wait for such a drastic and horrible wake up call to appreciate your healthy body.

Maintaining your healthy body should be your number one priority at all times. 

When you look after your body, it’ll take care of your mind.

Sometimes, our mind goes off to a place we don’t want to and does its own thing.

Talking to us in a negative tone, putting us down and assaulting us with feelings of guilt and regret. Taking us down to the depression rabbit hole.

In such situations, you need your body to overpower your mind.

Your body can get you out of a funk if you give it a chance.

Like when you don’t feel like getting out of bed.

One excellent hack is Mel Robbins’ The 5 Seconds Rule.

The principle is to count down 5 to 1.

By the time you hit 1, you blanket all the excuses or self-doubts out of your thoughts. And take one specific immediate action.

Examples: the moment you wake up, start counting 5… 4… 3… 2…. As you hit 1, get out of the bed and do any of the below:

  • Make your bed.
  • Walk straight to the bathroom and grab your toothbrush.
  • Stretch your entire body and do 25 squats.
  • Drink a tall glass of water.
  • Jump on a mini-trampoline – if you have one. I have one like this.

What it does is, The 5 Seconds Rule activates a trigger for you to take specific action straightaway.

It’s one of the best tricks to practise body over mind when the mind gets in your way.

A healthy body brings a healthy mind.

Which hosts and cultivates quiet confidence.

Mel Robbins: 5 Second Rule

7. Never Stop Learning

A great fallacy of mine was thinking the education would be over after graduation. Only to realise much later, true education begins afterwards.

Sure, there’s an excitement about entering the real world.

No more classes to attend and no assignments. And a bunch of free time.

It seems life couldn’t get any better.

But the real world is no playground.

It constantly demands us to:

  • Better ourselves.
  • Increase our self-worth by learning new skills.
  • Make money to secure a better future.

When we stop growing as a person, we’re left behind while the rest of the world moves on. If we don’t continue to invest in ourselves, we become stagnant.

And eventually, we lose confidence in our abilities.

Take personal development as a lifelong mission. Learn valuable skills and explore new ideas. Never stop expanding your abilities.

You’ll exude quiet confidence like second nature.

Final Thoughts

We rely so much on external factors to make us feel good and confident about ourselves.

But genuine confidence can only come from within. And the right relationship we have with ourselves.

External factors, i.e. people, status or money, can never become our true motivation. Or tools to gain self-confidence.

Face yourself in a quiet time when you’re alone.

The person you’re looking at in front of you in the mirror when nobody is looking is the real you.

With 7 ways to get quiet confidence mentioned in this post, master your mind and body. Plus, your everyday routine guided by a personalised roadmap for life.

You’ll exude quiet confidence with zero facades for the outside world but with unfaltering self-trust.

♣ Struggling with building quiet confidence? You might need to change the stories you tell yourself. What to Say When You Talk to Your Self will help you the best way you talk to yourself. It literally changed my life!

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