How I Stopped Comparing Myself to Others

Ever felt on top of the world after comparing yourself to someone else?

Chances are, you haven’t. 

The truth is, comparing ourselves to others rarely leads to anything positive. 

How can we feel even remotely fantastic when we’re sizing up our own bloopers against someone else’s Oscar-worthy moments?

Instead, we’re left wallowing in self-doubt and misery.

But weirdly enough, we keep going back for more. 


Are we gluttons for punishment? 

I mean, when was the last time someone held a gun to your head, forced you to scroll through Instagram, and then compared your booty to some random person’s, leaving you seething with envy?

It never happened, right? 

We do this to ourselves, and then we’re left reeling from feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and jealousy. 

Meanwhile, our own amazing life journey gets completely overshadowed.

Constant comparison blinds us, trapping us in a dark, endless tunnel. 

There’s always someone smarter, funnier, luckier, or richer than us, and we can’t help but compare ourselves to them, spiralling into a bottomless pit of misery. 

That was my reality until I decided enough was enough—I had to stop comparing myself to others.

I was tired of feeling miserable. I wanted to live my life on my terms. And that journey had to start from within. 

So, here’s how I stopped comparing myself to others and reclaimed my life:

5 Ways I Stopped Comparing Myself to Others

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Theodore Roosevelt

1. I Took Responsibility for My Own Happiness

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned through life’s ups and downs is that nobody is coming to rescue me. 

I’m solely responsible for my life and my happiness. 

So, I decided to focus on doing things that bring me joy, which means no more comparing my life to others’. 

For instance, when you’re pinching pennies to pay off debt, scrolling through your friends’ holiday photos on Instagram (that you can’t afford) will only bring you down. 

But for some reason, we do it anyway, making our lives unbearably sad. 

When you take responsibility for your own happiness, you stop this self-sabotaging behaviour.

In my journey of taking responsibility for my happiness, I discovered the power of self-improvement through challenges.

If you’re looking for ways to jumpstart your journey, check out these posts:

2. I Started Valuing My Time

Let’s be honest: when we’re busy comparing ourselves to others, it’s often because we have too much time on our hands, right? 

At least that was the case for me. 

Time is the ultimate equaliser; everyone gets 24 hours a day. 

Some people use that time to create a story they can be proud of, while others waste it by admiring others’ lives.

For example, binge-watching TV shows is a prime example of wasting time. Of course, we all need some relaxation, but there’s a limit to how much we should indulge.

Instead, I started engaging in creative activities that keep me too busy to check on others’ lives. 

Not only does comparison steal our joy and happiness, but it also robs us of the precious time we could use to create something meaningful and forge our own path in life.

3. I Celebrated My Small Wins

My wins might not be monumental, but every small victory is a testament to the progress I’m making. 

If I had allowed my inferiority complex to take over, I might have given up on starting my blog. 

If I had constantly compared myself to successful bloggers, I would have thrown in the towel long ago. 

Focusing on your wins doesn’t make you arrogant; instead, it reminds you to keep your eyes on your own journey.

4. I Embraced Inspiration from Others

The biggest challenge I face these days is that there are so many inspiring people I want to learn from, but time is limited.

I’d love to listen to an engaging podcast and soak up all the wisdom and inspiration it offers.

I do as much as I can, but with countless incredible people out there to learn from, it’s a never-ending journey.

I stopped comparing myself to others and started embracing inspiration as my driving force.

Inspiration lifts you up and encourages you to create and work towards your goals and dreams.

Embracing inspiration from others helped me become more resilient and mentally strong.

To develop these traits in yourself, read:

5. I Committed to Personal Development

When I embraced my personal development journey wholeheartedly, everything changed for the better.

It’s no coincidence.

By committing to personal development as a lifelong learning process, you work on every aspect of your life, examining your values and beliefs and adopting new behaviours, habits, and mindsets.

Few things in life are more gratifying than learning and improving every day to become a better version of yourself. 

And when you grow, you also positively impact those around you.

These people, in turn, influence others at work, at the gym, and so on. 

This positive impact disperses like invisible air, spreading throughout the world and making it a little bit better.

Without this journey, I wouldn’t have realised how wasteful and foolish my comparison tendencies had been.

Understanding Comparison and Fostering Self-Worth

Throughout my journey of self-discovery, I’ve learned that understanding the reasons behind comparison and fostering self-worth is key to overcoming the need to constantly compare myself to others.

Based on my observations and experiences, I’ve compiled the following insights to help you navigate the process of breaking free from comparison and embracing your unique journey.

Why Do I Constantly Compare Myself to Others?

It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, as it’s deeply ingrained in our psyche. 

The comparison can be a helpful tool for motivation and self-improvement when done constructively. 

However, it can also be a source of frustration and misery when we fall into the trap of negative comparison. 

Understanding the root cause of our need to compare can help us shift our focus to more positive and productive behaviours.

How to Improve Your Self-Worth and Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

To improve your sense of self-worth, it’s essential to focus on your strengths and celebrate your accomplishments. 

Surround yourself with positive people who uplift and support you. 

Recognise your unique qualities and embrace your individuality. 

By focusing on your own growth and self-worth, you’ll naturally begin to stop comparing yourself to others.

How Do I Value Myself More?

Valuing yourself more starts with practising self-compassion and self-love

Accept yourself as you are, including your perceived flaws and imperfections. 

Set realistic expectations for yourself and recognise your achievements, no matter how small. 

Spend time nurturing your mental, emotional, and physical well-being to develop a deeper sense of self-value.

According to Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading expert in self-compassion, comparing ourselves to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction.

Instead, she recommends cultivating self-compassion, which can improve emotional resilience and overall well-being.

Learn more about Dr. Neff’s research and findings in her book, “Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself“.

You can also explore her work on her official website.

(Disclosure: If you purchase through the link, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting my blog, my dear reader!)

Is Comparing Yourself to Others a Sign of Low Self-Esteem?

Comparing yourself to others can be a sign of low self-esteem, especially if it leads to negative emotions or self-criticism. 

When you feel insecure or inadequate, it’s easy to look at others and assume they’re doing better than you. 

Addressing your self-esteem issues is crucial to breaking the comparison cycle and cultivating a healthier self-image.

If you suspect that comparing yourself to others is impacting your self-esteem, read these posts and rebuild your confidence and self-worth:

How Do I Stop Comparing and Be Confident?

To stop comparing and be confident, focus on building your self-esteem and embracing your unique qualities. 

Develop a strong sense of self by identifying your strengths, setting achievable goals, and celebrating your accomplishments. 

Remember, your self-worth isn’t defined by others—it’s determined by how you see and value yourself.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others Physically

It’s essential to remember that beauty is subjective and comes in all shapes and sizes. 

Recognise that the media often portrays unrealistic beauty standards and focus on appreciating your own body. 

Practise self-love and self-care, taking time to nourish and care for your body in ways that make you feel good.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others at Work

To stop comparing yourself to others at work, focus on your own growth and professional development. 

Set personal goals and measure your progress based on your own achievements, not those of others. 

Remember that everyone’s career path is unique, and success is not a one-size-fits-all concept. 

Embrace collaboration and view your colleagues as teammates, not competitors.

Final Thoughts: Embrace Your Unique Journey and Thrive

I’m grateful that I ditched unproductive comparison habits and now use my time and energy in a more constructive and healthy way. 

Most importantly, I’ve taken full responsibility for my happiness.

When you notice yourself drifting into an unhappy comparison zone, assume your role as a caretaker for yourself and act with care and compassion. 

The caretaker in you should steer you away from falling into that unwelcome trap.

Take your role seriously and act on it immediately: stop comparing yourself to others (and seriously, give your buttocks a break—embrace them as they are, because, let’s be honest, they’re uniquely fabulous).

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  1. Thank you for writing this! I really needed to hear this today. ?

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Kat. I’m really happy to hear my post found you at the right time. Hope you keep up the good spirit and stay happy!

    1. Hey Meghana,
      I should be the one thanking you, really. Stay awesome!

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