The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.
– Steve Furtick
Have you ever felt GOOD after comparing yourself to someone else?
Not a chance, right?
How can we feel remotely good about ourselves when we measure our worst to someone’s best?
If anything, we feel inadequate and miserable.
And those feelings are neither healthy nor fun.
But like some kind of masochist, we handover ourselves to pains and sufferings over and over.
Don’t believe me?
When was the last time someone pointed a gun at you, threaten you to look at Instagram, compare the size of buttocks (of all things!) to some random gal and feel a pang of jealousy?
No one is pointing a gun at us.
But we do it over and over and suffer from the aftermath with a sense of inadequacy, insecurity and jealousy.
While completely losing sight of our own life journey.
Comparison blinds us and keeps us in a dark tunnel with no end to see.
There’s someone out there smarter than us. Funnier than us. Luckier than us. Richer than us.
The list goes on.
And we continue to compare ourselves to others…
Until we dig ourselves into the lowest depth of misery.
That’s precisely what happened to me until I had to make a deliberate effort and stopped comparing myself to others altogether.
I didn’t want to be miserable any more.
I wanted to live my life.
I realised that it had to begin within.
And here’s how I stopped comparing myself to someone else.
5 Ways I Stopped Comparing Myself to Others
1. I Took Responsibility for Myself Seriously
One of the great life lessons I’ve learned through life’s difficulties is that no one will come and rescue me.
I’m solely responsible for my life. My happiness.
I decided that I’ll only do things that make me happy.
That means no more comparing my life to others’.
When you’re saving up for every penny to pay down your debt, looking at your friends’ holiday pictures on Instagram (that you can’t afford) will probably depress you.
But for whatever reason, you let yourself do just that and make your life impossibly sad.
It’s no different from whispering to your sister (whom you’re supposed to look after):
Go on, look at your friend’s Instagram, see how good her life looks and how terrible yours is!
When you take responsibility for yourself seriously, you do no such thing.
2. I Took My Time Seriously
Let’s face it.
One thing that can be said about comparing ourselves to others is we have too much time on our hands, right?
That was the case for me, anyway.
Time is indiscriminate: everyone has 24 hours a day. It’s an ultimate equaliser.
Some use it to make their own story they can be proud of.
Some others use it to admire others’ life while wasting their own.
Watching countless hours of TV is a prime example.
When I engage in creative activities, I’m too busy to check on others’ activities to compare my life to.
Not only does comparing steal joy and happiness from our life, it also robs valuable time to create something meaningful and forge our own life path.
3. I Took My Wins Seriously
My wins are not big.
But every small win is a testimony to me I’m making progress.
I could have abandoned starting my blog had I let my inferiority complex win me.
I’d have given up a long time ago had I constantly compared myself to other successful bloggers.
Focusing on your wins doesn’t make you arrogant.
It reminds you of what’s important: setting your sights on your path.
4. I Took Inspiration Seriously
The biggest challenge I face these days is there are so many people I want to learn from, but time is limited.
I’d love to listen to a lengthy podcast and absorb all the wisdom and inspiration.
I do as much as I can, but there’re so many wonderful people out there to learn from.
I stopped comparing myself to others and, instead, took inspiration seriously.
Inspiration lifts you up and encourages you to create and work towards your goals and dream.
5. I Took Personal Development Seriously
When I took my personal development journey seriously, everything changed for the better.
This is no coincidence.
When you take up personal development as a lifelong learning process, you work on every area of your life, examining your values and beliefs and adopting new behaviours, habits and mindset.
There are few things in life more gratifying than learning and improving every day to become a better version of yourself.
Not only do you change yourself for better, you also affect people around you positively.
Those people around you do the same for someone else at work. Or at the gym.
And an unassuming person at the gym picks up positive vibes from that someone else and spreads them to her own social circle and so on.
The positive impact disperses like air you can’t see and manifests out into the world.
Therefore, we collectively make the world a little better.
Without this journey, I wouldn’t have known how wasteful and foolish my comparison tendency had been.
I’m glad I ditched useless comparison habits and use my time and energy in a much more productive and healthy way.
And most of all, be fully responsible for my happiness.
When you notice yourself drifting into an unhappy comparison zone, assume your duty as a caretaker for yourself and act with care and compassion.
A caretaker in you should steer you away from falling into the unwelcome trap.
Take your role seriously and act on it immediately: stop comparing yourself to others (and seriously, leave your buttock alone).
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